Sardar: My mobile bill how much?
Call centre girl: Sir, just dial 123 to know current bill
status
Sardar: Stupid, not CURRENT BILL my MOBILE BILL.
Sardar built 2 Swimming Pools. And he left one of them
unfilled?
When asked him, he said,
"Oye, that's for those who don't know Swimming.
Sardar: I think that girl is deaf.
Friend: How do u know?
Sardar: I told I Love her, but she said her chappals are new
Sardar: Miss, Did u call me on my mobile?
Teacher: Me? No, why?
Sardar: Yesterday I saw in my mobile- "1 Miss
Call".
Judge: Don't U have shame? It is d 3rd time U R coming to
court.
Sardar to judge: U R coming daily, don't U have shame?
Sir: What is difference between Orange and Apple?
Sardar: Color of Orange
is orange, but color of Apple is not APPLE.
Sardar in airplane going to Bombay . While its landing he was excited and
shouted: " Bombay ... Bombay "
Air hostess said: "B silent."
Sardar: "Ok. Ombay. Ombay"
Sardar got a sms from his girl friend: "I MISS
YOU"
Sardarji replied: "I Mr YOU" !!.
Son: papa, 4+3 kithne hai?
Sardar: ullu ke patthe, gadhe, idiot, naalaayak, besharam,
tujhe kuch nahi aathaa? Jaa andhar se CALCULATOR le ke Aa..
After finishing MBBS Sardar started his practice.
He Checked 1st Patient's Eyes, Tongue & Ears with a
Torch & Finally Said: "Oye, Torch is okay"
A Sardar, a German and a Pakistani got arrested consuming
alcohol which is a severe offense in Saudi Arabia , so
for the terrible crime they are all sentenced 20 lashes each
of the whip.
As they were preparing for their punishment, the Sheik
announced:
'It's my first wife's birthday today, and she has asked me
to allow each of you one wish before your whipping.'
The German was first in line; he thought for a while and
then said:
'Please tie a pillow to my back.'
This was done, but the pillow only lasted 10 lashes &
the German had to be carried away bleeding and crying with pain.
The Pakistani was next up. After watching the German in
horror he said
smugly: 'Please fix two pillows to my back.'
But even two pillows could only take 15 lashes & the
Pakistani was also led away whimpering loudly.
The Sardar was the last one up, but before he could say
anything, the Sheikh turned to him and said:
'You are from a most beautiful part of the world and your
culture is one of the finest in the world. For this, you may have two wishes!'
'Thank you, your Most Royal and Merciful highness,' Sardar
replied.
'In recognition of your kindness, my first wish is that you
give me not 20, but 100 lashes..'
'Not only are you an honorable, handsome and powerful man,
you are also very brave.' The Sheik said with an admiring look on his face.
'If 100 lashes is what you desire, then so be it.' And what
is your second wish?' the Sheik asked.
Sardar smiled and said, 'Tie the Pakistani to my back' !!!
'SINGH IS KING'
.
Man: Is
there any way for long life?
Dr: Get married.
Man: Will it help?
Dr: No, but the thought of long life will never come.
------------ --------- --------- ----
Why do couples hold hands during their wedding?
It's a formality just like two boxers shaking hands
before the fight begins!
--------- --------- --------- --------- --
Wife: Darling today is our anniversary, what should we
do?
Husband: Let us stand in silence for 2 minutes.
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --
It's funny when people discuss Love Marriage vs
Arranged.
It's like asking someone, if suicide is better or being
murdered.
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --
It is difficult to understand GOD. He makes such
beautiful
things as women
and then he turns them into Wives.
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --
If u r married please ignore this msg,
for everyone else: Happy Independence Day
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --
Before marriage, a man will lie awake all night
thinking
about something you
say.
After marriage, he'll fall asleep before you finish.
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --
There's a way of transferring funds that is even faster
than electronic
banking.
It's called marriage.
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --
Girlfriends r like chocolates,
taste good anytime.
Lovers r like PIZZAS, Hot n spicy, eaten frequently.
Husbands r like leftovers, eaten when there's no
choice.
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --
Man receives telegram: Wife dead-should be buried or
cremated?
Man: Don't take any chances. Burn the body and bury the
ash.
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --
Q: Why dogs don't marry?
A: Because they are already leading a dog's life!
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --
here was this guy who told his woman that he loved her
so
much that he
would go through hell for her. They got married and now he is
going thru hell.
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --
Fact of life: One woman brings you into this world
crying
& the other
ensures you
continue to do so for the rest of your life!
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --
Q: Why doesn't law permit a man to marry a second
woman?
A: Because as per law you cannot be punished twice for
the
same offence!
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --
Here comes the Ultimate One :)
Prospective husband: Do you have a book called 'Man,
The Master of Women'?
Salesgirl: The fiction department is on the other side,
sir.
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