HOW TO TREAT A
SENIOR CITIZEN KINDLY AND TENDERLY
Now if we have old people who
have disciplined their lives and keep the advice given in the article Coping with Old Age and
have learned how to live pleasantly in their old age--well then, anyone can get
along with them. But, in case you haven't noticed, older people are not perfect
either; and also the people who deal with them sometimes lack understanding,
patience, and tolerance.The problem of coping with old people is not just found
in their poor health, bad mental attitude, and a philosophy of life that runs
against the grain. The people who deal with senior citizens must also have some
knowledge of the problems of older people and some ability to deal with these
problems.
The ten years we took care of my
elderly mother were some of the best years of our lives, because my mother was
a jewel. Every night I could hear her say her prayers: "Dear Heavenly
Father, help me to be a good person and not to be a burden on my son and his
wife. Let me carry myself so that I will not make life hard for my loved
ones." Mother made it easy for us even when she was desperately ill and
unable to take care of the simple functions of life.
Here are some suggestions for
dealing with senior citizens that I have gleaned from working with my mother,
my Aunt Dorothy, my Aunt Agnes, and innumerable ladies and gentlemen from the
church and life who are older than I am:
- Do not expect old people to be much different from any other age. Some old people can become very childish; but, some young people are very childish also. I do not believe that people change much by getting old. A stubborn young person becomes a cantankerous old one. A life-time of evil character does not suddenly become sweet and innocent with age. People can change at any age, if they want to; but they don't automatically change for the better just because they grow old.
One day
I pondered this problem: "Why is it that people who have been driving for
50 years are often worse than someone who has been driving for a few months.
Doesn't practice make perfect?" No! Practice does not make perfect,
because we often practice our errors, and without proper feedback we cannot
correct them. A person who has been driving for 50 years can be a lousy driver
if he or she continues to perpetuate bad driving skills.
Just
because a person has lived long, don't expect to find a saint or a perfect
person. Accept people, even old ones, like they are.
- Give honor and respect to those who are old. Of course I feel that everyone in existence deserves honor and respect. I make it a practice to not despise any of God's creatures, no matter how small or deformed or worn out.
One day
I watched a nurse delighting in the experience of changing the diapers of a
baby. The baby giggled as the nurse cooed, and extolled the virtues of the
potty. Then she kissed the infant on her stomach and the bottoms of her feet as
she carefully washed, wiped, oiled, and powdered her. She wrapped the baby in a
blanket and with a little squeeze exclaimed, "There, you little precious
one, that will make you feel better."
As it
happened, I stood outside the room as the same nurse changed the bed of an old
lady who had messed in it. The nurse called her every name in the book, jerked
her around, and said such things as: "You make me puke, you dirty old bag.
If I had my way, I'd let you lay in it." The nurse had no compassion or
understanding in her care of an injured older person.
Frankly,
an old person who is incontinent does not deserve any less respect than a baby
who is not yet potty trained. We need to show respect for those who have lived
long on the face of this earth. If we do, when we get in that condition, people
will be more likely to show respect for us.
- Learn to love older people. Anyone can love the young and beautiful, particularly when the hormones flow. Young love does exist but it is often confused with passion. To love an older person comes closer to true love. Of course, it is a pleasure to deal with an old person who is sweet, lovely, intelligent, and self-sufficient. Anyone can do that. It takes real character to love those who don't love us, and especially to love those who aren't lovable. So, if the person you are dealing with is an impossible old man or old woman, rise to the occasion and be challenged to treat them especially well.
- Be careful about correcting an old person's opinion. The old person may be wrong; but again, you may be wrong. He or she has lived a long time and his or her opinion is worth the consideration of age. Many times, when my mother was in her eighties, she would give me advice. Usually, sorry to say, I would argue with her and tell her why I couldn't do this or that. As I look back on it, she was right. Every single time she was right. I just did not have the good sense or the flexibility to accept her counsel. Here is one of the times I would like to live life over and listen carefully to an old person who loves me.
- Treat old people just like you want to be treated when you get old. When I was growing up we had a special friend in the family who had little consideration for her parents. She abandoned her parents and dumped them into a poor house (we no longer use that terminology). As a grown man, I watched her children do the same thing to her. They put her away in an indecent, poorly cared-for institution. Now that I am old, I am watching the third generation do to the second generation what the second generation did to the first. If you want to perpetuate cruelty to the second and third generation, then treat your old folks cruelly. Your children will treat you like you treated your parents, and on and on it goes.
- Old folks love to laugh. I learned that older people have a priceless sense of humor when I taught a senior citizens class at First Christian Church in Santa Ana some years ago. The teachers who came before me interpreted the older look as the serious look--it is not true. More than any other age, older people have a sense of humor. As I write these lines George Burns is an old man of 93, people love to laugh with him, and he loves to laugh. Perhaps that is why he has lived so long.
- Visit the old people. One day I was walking down the corridors of a hospital and I heard an old man crying out, "Nurse, nurse, I'm lonely. Oh nurse, I am so lonely." His cry haunts me to this day. So, whenever I have a chance, I visit my old friends and try to alleviate their loneliness.
At
another time I was visiting old friends in a nursing home when I heard the
quiet sobs of a little old lady in a corner bed. She had outlived all her
relatives. She was blind and very emaciated. Her bony fingers clawed feebly at
the air as she moaned for a husband who wasn't there. I walked over to her bed,
sat down, took her hand, and held it for two hours. She knew I wasn't her
husband and since she couldn't see or hear she didn't know who I was. But, she
did know that someone cared as she walked alone down the scary path to death.
The
Bible very clearly tell us, "Honor your father and mother" (older
people), which is the first commandment with promise "that it may be well
with you and you may live long on the earth." This principle of honor is
the major way of dealing with our senior citizens--not just because I am one,
but because it is the best way of dealing with older people.
Courtesy :- Wm.
J. Diehm
Dear friends :
This article is written wonderfully by this author , i want to share with every senior
citizen .Old age is a boon if you get the real affection from from your son ,daughter,
wife and grand children . Money has got no value in this age and real affection and caring is what the senior citizen needs . Thank you for visiting my blog and share your views
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